The Gospel According to Shame
Shame on you.
Just reading this phrase can evoke a visceral response. As Asian Americans, we grapple with myriad forms of shame. The shame embedded in our cultures of origin is exacerbated by shame-tinged immigration and integration experiences. Struggling with the dual shames of not being white enough and not being Asian enough, we are often left in a liminal space of not belonging—and not even knowing our true selves.
As Christians, most of us learned the gospel according to guilt. Guilt has to do with our actions that lead to regret and the expectation of punishment. Humans are guilty of sin, and the sentence we deserve is death. The good news is that Jesus paid the penalty on our behalf, and we are now forgiven. This legal metaphor of forgiveness of the debt of the guilt of our sin is indeed good news. It focuses on the real problem of our guilt, but it offers nothing to tackle the equally real problem of our shame.
Shame and Guilt
Shame and guilt often overlap, but they are not the same. For example, survivors of abuse often feel shame even though they did not do anything wrong. They are not responsible for someone else’s heinous acts. They experience a shame problem caused by someone else’s guilt. Telling survivors they must forgive the perpetrator does not resolve their shame. We need a gospel that addresses both the actual guilt of the perpetrator and the undeserved shame of the survivor. That means a gospel that not only pays the penalty of sins, but also fully covers our shame and redeems us as beloved daughters and sons.
Here is where our Asian American eyes and hearts give us an advantage: we can read the Bible in its original context of a shame-oriented, collective people. We see that in the beginning: “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Gen 2:25).
In the Garden of Eden, life was as it was meant to be: humans in joyful, loving dependence upon God and joyful, loving inter-dependence with each other amidst the beauty and abundance of creation. And they felt no shame. They also felt no guilt, but that is not the emphasis of the story.
Humanity’s Fall
In Genesis 3, sin resulted in both guilt and shame. Adam and Eve both admitted their guilt (“I ate”), even while they blamed others. They did not lie or deny their disobedience. They knew they had broken the command given to them. The consequences of their guilt involved punishment, found in the form of curses. God cursed the serpent, the ground, and childbearing. This is how God dealt with the guilt of their sin.
But the Genesis story highlights parts that involve shame from the sin of rejecting God. By taking of the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve declared independence from God. They refused God’s rule and sought to define good and evil for themselves. Instead, shame became part of their lived experience: “then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves” (vs. 7). Their relationships with God and with each other, once characterized by intimacy and freedom, became marred by insecurity and fear.
From here, most of us tend to lump the punishment of the curses with being cast out of Eden. And our moral imaginations thus relegate life after the fall to being barred from paradise, expelled and exposed in the shame of our failure. We are resigned that life after the fall means being exiled from God’s presence and favor. This is certainly the fate Adam and Eve deserved.
God’s Mercy
Instead of abandoning Adam and Eve to shame and utter humiliation, God shows mercy:
“The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them” (Gen 3:21).
Adam and Eve fear that God will strip them, expose the shame of their nakedness, and lay them bare in their misery. Instead, God gives them better clothing! The Hebrew word to describe the coverings they made refers to loincloths, which are minimal. The garments God provides are “robes”, the same word used to describe the famous multi-colored coat of Joseph.
These garments of skin provide more than physical cover. The robes restore their honor by giving them status as God’s beloved children. Before Adam and Eve leave Eden, God formalizes his adoption of them as his heirs, assuring them of his ongoing love for them and his undeterred commitment to provide sacrificially for them.
Here in the beginning, we behold “the Lamb who was slain from the creation of the world” (Rev 13:8). We see a God who does not let human sin derail his plan of love. He takes it upon himself to provide the means for humanity’s restoration. Even though Adam and Eve had rebelled against God, God does not discard them. He covers them and claims them.
This is the good news that deals with the shame part of our sin problem!
What is illustrated in Genesis 3 is spelled out in Galatians 3:26-27: “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all who are baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” We deserve to live naked and ashamed, exposed and expelled, but because of God’s great mercy, we are clothed in Christ and given status as his beloved children and heirs. This is our true identity: loved and free in Christ.
Daring to Face our Shame
Why did the movie KPop Demon Hunters shatter so many records? In addition to having truly catchy music, it is explicitly about shame, which is now pan-cultural, thanks to the shame-based social media cancel culture. Demons use accusations to cause people to turn in upon themselves and turn against each other. Preying upon their insecurities, the voices of condemnation drive people to hide their true selves. Rumi, the main protagonist and lead singer laments, “I spent my whole life keeping this secret, this shame of what I am, and the more I hid this shame, the more it grew and grew until it started to destroy the one thing that gave me a purpose, my voice.” She finds in Jinu someone she can begin to trust, and together they sing, “We could be free, free! We can’t fix it if we never face it. Let the past be the past till it’s weightless.”
Dare we also face and name our shame? In Jesus, we have someone who has himself endured shame, one who “was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain” (Isa 53:3). Jesus knows what it feels like to suffer at the hands of sinful men, to not have God the Father intervene. He knows physical pain and the emotional toll of having your identity mocked and of being betrayed and abandoned. He knows what it means to experience shame. He has been there, and so he can truly weep with you when you weep.
Jesus offers the sympathy we need—and so much more. He will bring justice. At the cross, Jesus rescues us and removes our shame: “At that time I will deal with all who oppressed you. I will rescue the lame; I will gather the exiles. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they have suffered shame” (Zeph 3:19). Wherever we have suffered shame, God is coming to rescue us and free us.
This means that you are not defined by the worst thing that happened to you, or the worst thing you did or failed to do. You do not need to deny your past. You do not need to hide it or fear its exposure. The traumatic event or events do not comprise the sum total of who you are; they are only a part of your story. And Jesus promises to redeem these painful parts of your story and to enfold you into his grand story of redemption and love. Let yourself be clothed in Christ, who has been raised to the new life into which he invites you.
Toni Kim
Toni Kim serves as director of spiritual care for the National Association of Evangelicals. Her book Shame Redeemed: Learning to Live in Christ's Freedom releases August 4. With a degree in biblical languages and over twenty years of pastoral ministry, Toni delights in enabling people to abide in the love of Jesus. She and her husband, Walter, live in Charlottesville, Virginia, and have two adult children, including a daughter with Down syndrome who lives up to her middle name of Joy. You can follow Toni at Facebook, Insta is @tonihuangkim, and website is tonikim.org
