Recently, I took a spiritual gifts assessment at my church. I love these kinds of tools—the wonder of self-discovery, the language around calling, the idea that the Spirit equips us uniquely for the work of God in the world. So I dove in, curious and open.
When I got the results, I felt seen. My top gift was leadership. Tied for second: discernment and prophecy. These are gifts I and trusted others have long sensed in myself, ones that show up in how I lead, make decisions, and speak into hard truths with love and conviction. I was excited, affirmed, and even grateful.
But then came the follow-up question: “Are you using these gifts in the church?”
And my answer was: “No.”
The silence after that was louder than anything else. No invitation. No pathway. No follow-up conversation. Just a quiet nod that left me to sit with the grief of realizing—once again—that there’s no space for my gifts here.
To be clear, there were plenty of opportunities for people with gifts like hospitality, mercy, or encouragement—beautiful, needed gifts, often coded as “feminine” and frequently expected of women. But leadership? Discernment? Prophecy?
Crickets.
It’s a devastating thing to be told that the Spirit of God has uniquely empowered you only to discover that your church doesn’t know what to do with that empowerment.
Even more painful was the pastor’s sermon that followed. He preached with conviction:
“If you don’t use your spiritual gifts, you won’t experience the fullness of the Spirit’s work in your life.”
Well—that’s even more depressing.
Because what happens when the church itself becomes the barrier to using your gifts?
What happens when the place that’s supposed to recognize, release, and rejoice in the Spirit’s work chooses to ignore it instead?
I don’t write this to point fingers or assign blame.
I write it as a lament, and as a call.
A lament for all the women (and many men) who have taken these assessments or discovered their gifts only to realize their gifts don’t “fit” the church’s predetermined roles.
A call for churches to reimagine how to steward spiritual gifts—not just the ones we’re comfortable with, but the ones that stretch us, challenge us, and invite us into deeper transformation.
If we truly believe that the Holy Spirit distributes gifts to each one, just as God determines (1 Cor 12:11), then we have a responsibility to create space for each one to use them.
So here’s my prayer:
May our churches stop handing out spiritual gift assessments like personality quizzes and start treating them like commissioning moments.
May we become communities that welcome every gift, not just the ones that are easy to manage.
May we never again ask someone if they’re using their gifts without being ready to make room for them to do so.
Because the Spirit didn’t give us gifts just for the sake of knowing we have them.
The Spirit gave us gifts to be used, and the Church’s job is to unleash them.
Even the ones that might disrupt the status quo.
Especially those.
by Yulee Lee
Dr. Yulee Lee is the CEO of Khora Collective.
