I know how heavy your heart feels right now. You wake up every day with the weight of not being “enough”—not white enough to fit in, not Korean enough to belong, and never feeling seen for who you truly are, and if we’re honest, you don’t know who you are…yet!

The teasing, the jokes, the ways they mock your name, your eyes, your food, your family—I know. It all makes you want to shrink, to disappear, to trade in your skin for something that won’t make you a target. Tired of the bullying. Tired of the tears. I know you’ve even wished you weren’t born at all.

But listen to me: You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Let me say it again—you are fearfully and wonderfully made. The God you don’t really know yet—does not make mistakes.

I know those words don’t feel real right now. But one day, they will. One day, you will look in the mirror and see not a mistake, not an outsider, but a child of God, created in His image, with purpose, beauty, and dignity. One day, you will understand that the slurs and the laughter were never about you—they were about the brokenness of the world. And you will realize that God has never been ashamed of you. He has always delighted in you, in your eyes, in your name, in the culture and history that shaped you.

You will come to see that your faith and your identity are not at war with each other. Being Korean American is not a burden to carry—it is a gift to cherish. Your identity was never a liability; it has always been an asset. And being a Christian doesn’t mean erasing your culture; it means seeing it through God’s eyes, embracing your Korean-ness as a part of His beautiful creation. You will meet people who celebrate both—who love Jesus and love their heritage, who show you that faith is not about fitting into a whitewashed version of Christianity but about being fully who God made you to be. You will also continue to meet people who will mock both. Forgive them.

And one day, you will laugh—not the forced kind of laugh you use now to survive, but real laughter, full of joy. Because you will know the truth: You were never a mistake. You were never meant to be someone else.

So hold on. The loneliness won’t last forever. The shame will fade. And one day, you will stand tall, knowing that you are both fully Asian American and fully God’s beloved. And that is more than enough.

With love and hope,

Old man Alex

Dr. Alexander Jun is co-founder of Khora Collective and serves as Chief of Strategic Partnerships. He is Director of Intercultural Development at Serge as well as Research Professor of Korean American Ministries and Church Leadership Studies at Fuller Theological Seminary. He was the founder and executive director of the Korean American Leadership Initiative (KALI) and 45th Moderator of the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA). Alex has published multiple books and articles on racial justice issues in the church, education, and broader American society and holds a PhD from University of Southern California. He and his wife live in Los Angeles County and have 3 children.