This blog is adapted from a Khora Conversation webinar with Adrian Pei on November 13, 2025. Adrian is a leadership author, trainer, speaker, and the founder and CEO of The Change Navigation Company. For over 20 years, he’s worked in leadership development and facilitated organizational transformations for nonprofits and corporations.
Leadership has always carried weight, but I’ll be honest—leading in this season feels heavier than most.
Anxiety is everywhere. You can feel it in meetings that feel more brittle than they used to, in conversations that escalate faster than expected, and in leaders who are tired in ways sleep alone doesn’t fix. The lingering grief of the pandemic, deepening polarization, rapid advances in technology, and growing distrust in institutions have created a climate where pressure is constant and clarity feels elusive.
And yet, I’m convinced this is exactly the moment when courageous, healthy leadership matters most. I’ve learned from my own experience, work and research that leadership health is inseparable from emotional honesty, relational courage, and community support.
Naming the Anxiety We’re Living In
One of the first responsibilities of leadership is telling the truth about reality.
We are living in anxious times. Not just stressed—but deeply unsettled. The pandemic didn’t only disrupt schedules and systems; it disrupted our sense of safety. Many people are still carrying unresolved grief: missed goodbyes, lost milestones, isolation, and the quiet erosion of rhythms that once kept them grounded.
Layer on economic uncertainty, political polarization, and the rapid rise of AI, and it’s no wonder so many people feel overwhelmed.
Leaders often find themselves caught in the firestorm—absorbing the anxiety of others while trying to make decisions, maintain stability, and move forward. Without intentional support, it’s easy to become reactive, exhausted, or disconnected from one’s own inner life.
Healthy leadership begins with a simple but difficult step: acknowledging anxiety rather than denying it.
Two Leadership Gaps I See Over and Over Again
Across ministry and marketplace contexts, two leadership gaps show up consistently.
First, avoiding hard but necessary conversations.
Many leaders struggle with conflict—not because they’re weak, but because they’re human. Early experiences often teach us that conflict is unsafe, so we learn to avoid it. But avoidance doesn’t eliminate problems; it multiplies them—as trust erodes and teams lose clarity.
Learning to hold difficult conversations with both truth and grace isn’t optional, but foundational.
Second, leaders aren’t getting enough support.
Leaders are often wired to give more than they receive. In anxious times, that imbalance becomes unsustainable. Simply put, the math doesn’t work. If leadership is harder than ever, leaders need more support—not less.
Growth Happens Through Process, Not Perfection
This isn’t theoretical for me.
Early in my career, I was deeply conflict-averse. I avoided conversations I knew mattered. Growth didn’t come through willpower or quick fixes—it came through patient mentors, supportive teams, and repeated practice.
Over time, something shifted for me. Hard conversations stopped being primarily about fear and became more about trust—trust that honesty, when paired with care, leads to growth.
That journey eventually led me to write The Art of Growing Through Feedback. At the heart of the book is a simple but demanding truth: growth doesn’t happen in isolation.
Real growth happens through:
- Psychological awareness – understanding how our past shapes our reactions
- Action and practice – building skill through real conversations
- Relationships – growing alongside others, not alone
Leadership growth isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about growing yourself—in community.
Ministry and Marketplace: Different Pressures, Same Humanity
Having worked in both ministry and marketplace settings, I’ve learned that while the pressures differ, the humanity is the same. People bring their full selves—their strengths, fears, wounds, and hopes—wherever they lead.
In ministry, leaders often struggle with accountability and boundaries. Volunteers, limited resources, and spiritualized pressure can make it hard to say no—even when saying yes costs too much.
In the marketplace, the challenge often swings the other direction. Leadership can become overly transactional, with people valued primarily by ROI rather than intrinsic worth. Support systems thin out, and emotional health gets sidelined.
Each world has something to learn from the other. Ministry can learn clarity and prioritization, while the marketplace can learn depth of care and people-centered leadership.
Why Community Is Non-Negotiable
If there’s one theme I return to again and again, it’s this: content cannot replace community.
Leaders need people who listen without fixing, peers who walk alongside them, and mentors or coaches who offer both care and challenge.
I often encourage leaders to do a simple relational audit:
- Who is pouring into me?
- Who are my peers?
- Who am I investing in?
An imbalance in any direction is a warning sign.
Rebuilding community takes intention—especially after seasons of isolation. Reaching out to old friends, asking for mentorship, joining cohorts, or setting up recurring check-ins can feel awkward, but it’s worth it. Many senior leaders don’t see mentorship requests as burdens—they see them as honors, even when they can’t always say yes.
Health, Healing, and the Courage to Face Yourself
Unresolved issues don’t disappear. They surface—often in leadership.
Health isn’t about flawlessness. It’s about courage: the courage to face unresolved relationships, unprocessed grief, unmet expectations, and internal wounds.
I regularly audit my own life, asking where tension still exists and what I’ve avoided. That work isn’t comfortable, but it’s freeing. Over time, truth becomes less frightening and more life-giving.
This kind of growth isn’t powered by self-discipline alone. It requires grace—grace from God and from others. We aren’t shamed into change; we’re loved into honesty.
What a Healthy Leader Really Looks Like
A healthy leader isn’t polished or perfect. They’re surrounded by support, grounded in humility, curious about their own growth, and willing to face reality.
They make mistakes. They take responsibility, and learn. And they don’t rush maturity—knowing that some of the most important leadership lessons simply take time.
Leading Forward
In anxious times, leadership requires more than competence. It requires courage—the courage to have hard conversations, to ask for help, to slow down, and to face what’s unresolved.
If there’s one thing I hope leaders hear, it’s this: you don’t have to lead alone, and you don’t have to be perfect to lead well.
The way forward begins with honesty, community, and a commitment to becoming healthier from the inside out.
Some reflection questions:
- What area do you want to focus on growing in: psychological or self-awareness (understanding how our past shapes our reactions), action and practice (building skill through real conversations), or relationships (growing alongside others, not alone)?
- What is one step you can take to grow in the area you identified?
- Who is in your community: Who is pouring into me? Who are my peers? Who am I investing in?
- What is one step you can take to intentionally strengthen one of those relationships?
You can learn more about Adrian Pei’s work or connect with him at his website www.changenavigation.co. He is the author of several books including The Minority Experience: Navigating Emotional and Organizational Realities and The Art of Growing Through Feedback. If you’re interested in joining one of his learning cohorts, he’d love to talk! Please reach out to him at adrian@changenavigation.co.
